I get letters from superheroes all the time. I know, that’s pretty cool, right? Anyway, this month I have a letter from Wonder Woman (I know, even more coolness) and Donna Troy who is concerned about the Titans and their well-being.

Dear WendySkeleton,

I am concerned about the cover for Justice League of America #23.

I myself do not understand what I am exactly executing in that picture. Could you possibly explain to me why I am doing such a pose?

Yours Sincerely,
Wonder Woman

To Wonder Woman,
Wonder Woman! I’m so glad you wrote in and asked me! I was also worried as to why you would be pulling off such a pose. I had three scenarios in my mind:

1. You were doing gymnastics over good ol’ Amazo over there.
2. You were testing out a new fighting move that looked like a gymnastic move just to trick Amazo so you could take him down but failed miserably.
3. Ed Benes is being his usual self again (and by “usual self”, I mean that he’s being a bad artist).

I thought to myself why you would be doing such a thing? I was really scared that you had lost your mind or something, which wouldn’t be too good because you’re my favourite superheroine and everything. And I’m also concerned about what’s happening in that picture:

• Are you giving up your superhero job to become a contortionist? You seem to be able to present your butt quite a bit while doing these “gymnastic” moves of yours.
• Have you become a narcoleptic? Because it looks like you’re sleeping. Let me tell you, sleeping in the middle of a fight could be real trouble!
• You’re being passive! You’re getting beaten up by Amazo and you’re sleeping, which I will refer you to my anger in the previous paragraphs of my response to your letter because it’s really annoying. And the fact that you’re being passive makes it look like you’re the typical damsel-in-distress, especially when there are three male members attempting to save you.
• The JLA members in the back seem to be really troubled there… seems as if Amazo’s shininess is his new power, which is able to debilitate heroes that way.

I’m just glad I dropped this series though, and I’m focusing a lot of my attention to your solo series which is totally awesome! I like your solo series, because you’re actually pulling off fighting moves without some weird body positioning or anything of that sort.

PS. No pressure or anything, but how’s the cloning machine coming along? We need to clone Gail Simone, stat!

P.P.S. As much as I love getting letters from you, I was wondering if you could send these letters through the postal system, or perhaps e-mail? It’s nice that you use the Amazonian traditions of sending your letter through a dove, and the dove is so cute! But it’s crapping everywhere in my apartment; I thought that if it’s trained to fly to a selected location, it would be house-trained too?

Dear WendySkeleton,

I’m sending you this letter cos I just don’t understand what’s happening in this cover; there’s just so much wrongness in there! I don’t understand why Nightwing has turned into a giraffe overnight with that neck, I’m not sure what I’m exactly arguing about with Wally there and I’m not sure why Raven and Red Arrow are fighting a bear.

From,
Donna Troy

To Donna Troy,
Ya know, I’m kind of asking myself the same questions too. From what I’ve gathered, it looks as if Nightwing wants to assert domination over Starfire - who has a porn-face - so he decides that he should use some special medicine that allows his neck to grow overnight.

What are you and Wally arguing about? How you have perfectly round breasts that seem to defy gravity?

I’m not sure why Revan and Red Arrow prancing around the bear. Looks like they’re dancing with it rather than fighting it. Unless of course, they actually are dancing around it. I’m afraid that’s a mystery that will be never solved. Maybe that’s why Cyborg looks so grumpy - because they’re dancing with the bear rather than fighting it.