Panels of Awesome!

With a couple issues already gone by, how prepared are you for the end of Batman? In only four more issues, we’ll either be left with painful headaches, as we try and figure out just what the heck just happened, or with a brand new character donning the legendary cape and cowl of the Dark Knight which, to be honest, might not be such a good thing. That is, unless it’s done properly. Will Grant Morrison be the man to properly shift the entire world of Bruce Wayne as Batman out of the picture and make way for someone new? I suppose we’ll have to wait and see for ourselves.

Or do we? It just so happens Panels of Awesome has gotten it’s hands on some of the ideas that the DC staff, as well as Grant Morrison himself, have been kicking around. I would have to imagine that some of these are probably just decoy ideas to throw us curious fans off the trail but I also believe that somewhere in this list of ideas is the planned outcome for this epic portion of Batman’s life.

• Batman, who’s been acting weird lately, is in fact a Skrull:

Proving that there really is nobody in the world that you can actually trust, Batman is revealed to be a Skrull warlord named Swcmow-Dehrm. Swcmow-Dehrm then enslaves the many people of Gotham City before Nightwing and Robin violently rise up and kill the pseudo-Batman. Everything is then finally returned to normal…except Batman’s dead.

• Tim Drake, the current Robin, kills Batman in a jealous rage:

Angry at the amount of time that Bruce has been spending with Damian, Tim kills Batman and takes on the role of the Dark Knight himself. After coming to the conclusion that the batsuit is nowhere near his size, he realizes that the idea was probably not such a good one after all. Every Batman title is then canceled very unexpectedly.

• In a shocking turn of events, Batman doesn’t die at all:

Despite what everyone has been saying over the past couple months, Bruce Wayne defeats his inner demons as well as the evil Black Glove to save the day once again. When he’s done, he takes a couple months off and takes up water-skiing. The issues that follow are mostly focused on the many hurtles that Batman must overcome as an up-and-coming water-skier. The comic is then discontinued because of poor sales.

Yes, that’s right, they’ve already predicted that their comic will flop because of poor sales and- Oops! It turns out those weren’t DC’s ideas at all. They were just my own ramblings that I had written on a napkin, after a couple glasses of wine, during dinner the other night. My bad.

Oh well. Your loss.

Batman #678, the third part of the Batman R.I.P. saga, goes on sale June 25th, 2008. For more info, be sure to check out the Batman mini-site or DC’s website for all the details.

Have any ridiculous scenarios you’d hate to see happen in the pages of Batman R.I.P.? Leave a comment and let me know!

I get letters from superheroes all the time. I know, that’s pretty cool, right? Anyway, this month I have a letter from Wonder Woman (I know, even more coolness) and Donna Troy who is concerned about the Titans and their well-being.

Dear WendySkeleton,

I am concerned about the cover for Justice League of America #23.

I myself do not understand what I am exactly executing in that picture. Could you possibly explain to me why I am doing such a pose?

Yours Sincerely,
Wonder Woman

To Wonder Woman,
Wonder Woman! I’m so glad you wrote in and asked me! I was also worried as to why you would be pulling off such a pose. I had three scenarios in my mind:

1. You were doing gymnastics over good ol’ Amazo over there.
2. You were testing out a new fighting move that looked like a gymnastic move just to trick Amazo so you could take him down but failed miserably.
3. Ed Benes is being his usual self again (and by “usual self”, I mean that he’s being a bad artist).

I thought to myself why you would be doing such a thing? I was really scared that you had lost your mind or something, which wouldn’t be too good because you’re my favourite superheroine and everything. And I’m also concerned about what’s happening in that picture:

• Are you giving up your superhero job to become a contortionist? You seem to be able to present your butt quite a bit while doing these “gymnastic” moves of yours.
• Have you become a narcoleptic? Because it looks like you’re sleeping. Let me tell you, sleeping in the middle of a fight could be real trouble!
• You’re being passive! You’re getting beaten up by Amazo and you’re sleeping, which I will refer you to my anger in the previous paragraphs of my response to your letter because it’s really annoying. And the fact that you’re being passive makes it look like you’re the typical damsel-in-distress, especially when there are three male members attempting to save you.
• The JLA members in the back seem to be really troubled there… seems as if Amazo’s shininess is his new power, which is able to debilitate heroes that way.

I’m just glad I dropped this series though, and I’m focusing a lot of my attention to your solo series which is totally awesome! I like your solo series, because you’re actually pulling off fighting moves without some weird body positioning or anything of that sort.

PS. No pressure or anything, but how’s the cloning machine coming along? We need to clone Gail Simone, stat!

P.P.S. As much as I love getting letters from you, I was wondering if you could send these letters through the postal system, or perhaps e-mail? It’s nice that you use the Amazonian traditions of sending your letter through a dove, and the dove is so cute! But it’s crapping everywhere in my apartment; I thought that if it’s trained to fly to a selected location, it would be house-trained too?

Dear WendySkeleton,

I’m sending you this letter cos I just don’t understand what’s happening in this cover; there’s just so much wrongness in there! I don’t understand why Nightwing has turned into a giraffe overnight with that neck, I’m not sure what I’m exactly arguing about with Wally there and I’m not sure why Raven and Red Arrow are fighting a bear.

From,
Donna Troy

To Donna Troy,
Ya know, I’m kind of asking myself the same questions too. From what I’ve gathered, it looks as if Nightwing wants to assert domination over Starfire - who has a porn-face - so he decides that he should use some special medicine that allows his neck to grow overnight.

What are you and Wally arguing about? How you have perfectly round breasts that seem to defy gravity?

I’m not sure why Revan and Red Arrow prancing around the bear. Looks like they’re dancing with it rather than fighting it. Unless of course, they actually are dancing around it. I’m afraid that’s a mystery that will be never solved. Maybe that’s why Cyborg looks so grumpy - because they’re dancing with the bear rather than fighting it.

When we last witnessed the intense action of the Awesome Arena, Nightwing, who at one point appeared to be down and out, pulled out all the stops and was able to take down the new Captain America, Bucky Barnes. While this was easily the closest battle in the Arena so far, this week’s fight might be able to take that honor away from Nightwing and Bucky. Continuing the trend of company wide battles, we see Marvel’s Black Cat take on DC’s Catwoman. To the Arena!

Combatant #1 - Black Cat:

Background:

Black Cat, Felicia Hardy, is the daughter of world famous cat burglar Walter Hardy. During her years in college, Felicia was raped by her boyfriend Ryan, who then disappeared. Felicia trained her body and mind in order to seek revenge against Ryan but, by the time she had tracked him down, he had already died in a car accident. Felicia, fueled by revenge and anger, then took on the identity of the Black Cat and began to follow in her father’s footsteps as a burglar. She’s crossed paths with Spider-Man several times and has recently given up her life of crime and has become a force for good rather than evil.

Powers:

• Razor sharp claws built into her suit
• Peak agility and stamina
• Skilled fighter
• Wields a retractable whip

Weaknesses:

Since Black Cat’s origin was rewritten, she has no superpowers which also means that her weaknesses are essentially those of a normal person. Her training may have given her increased defensive techniques but, ultimately, she has the weaknesses of a normal person.

Combatant #2 - Catwoman:

Background:

Seline Kyle is a former prostitute who, after seeing Batman taking to rooftops during his early days as the dark knight, is inspired to take on a secret identity of her own to break free of her dark and painful past. She becomes the Catwoman and, after ridding herself and her friends of their former pimp, becomes a burglar. She crosses paths with Batman several times, even falling in love with him. Ultimately, much like Black Cat, Catwoman becomes much more of a hero than a villain.

Powers:

• Peak athlete
• Skilled hand-to-hand combatant
• Steel spring-loaded climbing pitons
• Razor-sharp retractable claws
• Wields an assortment of bullwhips

Weaknesses:

Similar to Black Cat, Catwoman has many normal weaknesses. Her athletic abilities as well as her training in combat would no doubt provide her with a much higher level of protection than the average person but in the end, she’s only human.

The Fight:

As always, you decide who takes home the glory in the Awesome Arena. This week’s battle will no doubt be one of the closest we’ve seen so far but there has to be a winner…unless it’s a draw. We’ve never had a draw before so I guess that’s good too. Enough of my rambling! Let the battle begin!

Result: Catwoman defeats Black Cat in this exhibition match.

Voting is currently closed!